Beirut - Small Time American Bats - Record Review...Sorta.

Beirut

Small Time American Bats.

Score: 7.5

There is almost nothing on the planet earth about this record. From what I can tell, it’s before Zach Condon started to get heavily into Balkan music. But it’s still good! When I heard that Beirut would be abandoning the big brass and moving in different directions I got worried. I loved the brass and the sweeping melodies that came with it. After listening to a lot of Zach’s different stuff, I can sleep easy at night. The Real People, the Pompeii EP, and now Small Time American Bats, show that he is actually a great musician, not just a one trick pony. Even though I love the fucking trick. So let’s get down to Small Time American Bats. I think I read that it was recorded in 2002 or 2003. A couple years before Gulag Orkestar shattered all of us. There are only THREE (3) songs on the record, which means your joy will be short lived.

The first track is called “The Fish Inside of Me,” and while it is good. It is probably the weakest track on the record. Ugh, listen. Fuck this track by track bullshit. I can really appreciate the low production values and simplicity of the record. With Gulag, etc. It was all about being grandiose, but on these tracks he is just a normal kid making music in his basement. There is piano, a guitar and a drum machine. Oh and Condon’s beautiful voice to drive it along. Like I said, there are only three tracks. After the first track, shit starts to heat up with the last two, “We covered the west in phone lines,” and “The electric show.” Both are magnificent. Apologies for the shortness, but you know how Beirut leaves me grasping for words.

Beirut - Small Time American Bats

Spiderman 3 OST- Record Review

Spiderman 3 OST

Various Artists

Score: 6.8

There’s always something a little tawdry about the Spiderman soundtracks. Something so dark and cheap that I am loath to even write about it, they are just so engineered. You don’t believe me? Okay, well, let’s let the tracklists for the last two Spiderman soundtracks speak for themselves, shall we?

Spiderman (2002)

1. Theme From Spider Man

2. Hero - Chad Kroeger (feat. Josey Scott)

3. What We're All About - Sum 41

4. Learn To Crawl - Black Lab

5. Somebody Else – Bleu

6. Bug Bites - Alien Ant Farm

7. Blind – Default

8. Bother - Corey Taylor

9. Shelter - Greenwheel

10. When It Started - The Strokes

11. Hate To Say I Told You So - The Hives

12. Invisible Man - Theory Of A Dead Man

13. Undercover - Pete Yorn

14. My Nutmeg Phantasy - Macy Gray (feat. Angie Stone and Mos Def)(Tom Morello Mix)

15. I - IV - V - Injected

16. She Was My Girl - Jerry Cantrell

17. Main Titles - Danny Elfman

18. Farewell - Danny Elfman

19. Theme from Spiderman – Aerosmith

This blatantly cashes in on the Nickelback craze; in fact, I think that THREE of the bands on this soundtrack are either Nickelback or Nickelback operating under a different guise. Oh and then there’s that song “What we’re all about” by Sum 41 where the chorus was “ROCK! It’s what we’re all about, it’s what we live for, come on and shout it out!” I thought it was always really funny to substitute the “ROCK!” with “COCK!” and the “we’re” with “you’re” I had very few friends. ANYWAY, this cashes in on the musical fad of 2002 which were.

1.) Nickelback.

2.) Bands that sounded like Nickelback.

3.) “The” Bands, The Hives, The Strokes, The Vines, The The’s

4.) Danny Elfman.

Now that I have distilled their dark work, let’s begin on the second Spiderman soundtrack.

Spiderman 2 (2004)

1. Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional

2. Ordinary - Train

3. Did You - Hoobastank

4. Hold On – Jet

5. Gifts And Curses - Yellowcard

6. Woman - Maroon 5

7. This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know) - Taking Back Sunday

8. Give It Up - Midtown

9. Lucky You – lostprophets

10. Who I Am - Smile Empty Soul

11. The Night That The Lights Went Out In NYC - The Ataris

12. We Are - Ana

13. Someone To Die For - Jimmy Gnecco featuring Brian May

14. Spidey Suite - Danny Elfman

15. Doc Ock Suite - Danny Elfman

AHHHH! The game they play is so brazen! This is obviously a vehicle for the 2004 musical fad. One that hasn’t really disintegrated, but hasn’t been thriving as heartily as it was in 2004; in 2004 there was a fucking surfeit of these bands, and they were a dime a fucking dozen. And they sounded like it! Why would they pile shitty bands onto a soundtrack for an almost awesome movie? The logic is so abstruse that I can’t even begin to grapple with it. To try would be akin to going toe to toe with Goliath. That being said, I can honestly say that I did not enjoy this soundtrack at all. With Spiderman that “Hero” song was my fucking theme song that summer. Not only because I loved Spiderman, but there was something so epic about it.

However, with this one, the soundtrack was tuned toward people that were listening to things totally independent of my culture.

I never understood the allure of Dashboard Confessional; I understood why females loved him, he was all torn up about shit. About how girls didn’t like him and always left him, but the thing they failed to realize was that Chris Carraba was fucking rolling in vagina. The very thought of that disgusts me. You fucking knew that when he got off stage he stepped into his dressing room and WHOOSH! He was knee deep in vagina!

ANYWAY, on this one it was the pop/punk/”emo” vibe they tried to cash in on. And I’m sure when they released it, the clouds opened up and cash money poured from the sky and the Sony execs, mouths open, face turned skyward, swallowed it all up in one gulp.

OKAY, so we have ripped apart the first two Spiderman soundtracks, now let’s dig in on the third.

Spiderman 3 (2007)

1. Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

2. Move Away - The Killers

3. Sealings - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

4. Pleased To Meet You - Wolfmother

5. Red River - The Walkmen

6. Stay Free - Black Mountain

7. The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love - The Flaming Lips

8. Scared Of Myself - Simon Dawes

9. The Twist - Chubby Checker

10. Sightlines - Rogue Wave

11. Summer Day - Coconut Records

12. Falling Star - Jet

13. Portrait Of A Summer Thief - Sounds Under Radio

14. A Letter From St. Jude - Wasted Youth

15. Small Parts - The Oohlas

The ploy is once again naked, stripped bare and laid in front of us. There is something different about this record, though. This record has GOOD songs. Unlike the last two, the tracks selected are decent; I can listen to most of them without crying out in anguish. Even bands that usually suck have done good things. They done as good as they could.

For instance, let’s take Snow Patrol’s “Signal Fire.” I used to like Snow Patrol, they had some good songs “Spitting Games”, “Chocolate”, “Run”, etc. But ever since “Chasing Cars” has been on every single fucking TV show on every single fucking network, my tolerance for them hath grown short. But “Signal Fire” is actually a genuinely decent song. Let’s put it this way, I don’t love it, but at the same time, I don’t execrate it.

Fuck man, even The Killers song isn’t horrible! The end is fucking nigh.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs contribute a good song, and I don’t even really like them. I’ll stop here because I’ll probably say the same thing about every track. It is okay.

The theme of this album is obviously “alternative rock” which is a mainstream way of saying “independent” even though some of these guys aren’t. But they have the feel of independent. Whenever I start to get into the music, I remember it is the fucking Spiderman 3 soundtrack and I feel really cheap and dirty. And for that reason, I could never really love it.

Spiderman 3 OST

The Decemberists -The Tain EP - Record Review

The Tain EP

The Decemberists

Score: 7.5

Songs that are 18 minutes and 35 seconds long are rarely good, actually, they are almost always absolute atrocities. Crimes against man. With self indulgent guitar solos that will “totally alter your reality” if you are baked out of your fucking mind. This is why stoners, or ex/sometimes/ if I’m at a party stoners will always get super pissed when I tell them that I absolutely fucking detested Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, no matter how influential on modern rock they have become, I abhor them.

That being said, The Decemberists released an opus to rival even that of Zep or Floyd, which is, as I said before, and 18 minute and 35 second epic. The Tain is The Decemberists retelling of an old Irish myth called Táin Bó Cúailnge or The Cattle Raid Of Cooley or, as you see it here, The Tain. The legend is pretty fucked up, there are curses, trysts, and crazy Irish names, like Aillil and Medb, I am also led to believe there was a battle over extremely fertile bulls. Yes, animals.

Above is the link for the story if you really want to know what the hell is really going on. this is a site for music, so I’m not going to try and interpret Irish mythology, no matter how fertile the livestock may be.

So let’s get down to the dirt here, what exactly is happening? There are five parts to The Tain. If you break it apart piece by piece, you get a better idea of how the story goes.

Part I

crone: here upon this pillow
made of reed and willow
you're a fickle little twister
are you sweet on your sister?
your fallow won't leave you alone.

and granted for their pleasure
possesions laid to measure
she's a salty little pisser
with your cock in her kisser
but now she's a will of her own.

What does this mean?! : I’m guessing this is where the Queen (Medb) and King (Aillil) are comparing their riches to that of their rival Ulster, they plan to steal Ulster’s bull in order to be as rich, or richer than him.

Part II

husband: damn your ankles and eyes wide
from you fingernails to your ponytails too.
king of the insects and the m-5
over charlemagne in a motorcade too.

and baby needs a new prize
baby needs a new and shiny prize.

captain: in this place called heavenly
you were born here.
this place called heavenly
you were born here.
you were born here.

husband: and now all the marchers descend from high
i will dedicate all of my awakenings to this.

and damn all the angles that opress my sight
i will bleed your heart through a samovar soon.

captain: in this place called heavenly
you were born here.
this place called heavenly
you were born here.
you were born here.

What does this mean?! : I think here is where the King is getting pissed that his wife just can’t be silent, they are having to go to war for a bull just to keep his woman content. King Aillil seriously needs to keep his pimp hand strong.

PART III

soldier: they settled dust in your hair
to watch you shake and shout it out.
with our armaments bared
we shed our bags and travel alls.

from the lee of the wall
he comes in the chang and the chariot
and all his eunuchs in thrall
can scarce lift his line and lariat.

here com loose his hounds
to blow me down.

chorus of waifs: blow me down.

soldier: on this stretch of ground
i'll lay me down.

chorus of waifs: lay me down.

soldier: to sleep.

chaplain: and now stricken with pangs
that tear at our backs like thistle down
the mirror's soft silver tain
reflects our last and birthing hour

soldier: here com loose his hounds
to blow me down.

chorus of waifs: blow me down.

soldier: on this stretch of ground
i'll lay me down.

chorus of waifs: lay me down.

soldier: to sleep.

What does this mean?! : This is the war part. Where Cú Chulainn and Fer Diad fight it out. Cu wins after three days, and is stricken with sorrow because he had to kill his foster brother.

PART IV

evening

widow: o the wind is blowing, it hurts your skin
as you climb up hillside, forest and fen.

your arms full of lullabies, orchids and wine
your memories wrapped within paper and twine.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

when the dawn comes to greet you, you'll rise with clothes on
and advance with the others, singing old songs
of cattle and maidens and withered old queens.
let the music carry you on.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

What does this mean?! : This is clearly after the battle and portrays the aftermath. Jesus, I don’t even know.

PART V

woman: darling dear what have you done?
your clothes are town, your make-up runs.

daughter: i ran through brambles, blooming thistle
i washed my face in the river when you whistled me on.

woman: darling dear, what have you done?
your hands and face are smeared with blood.

daughter: the chaplain came and called me out
to beat and to butcher his mother's sow

woman: but darling dear, they found him dead
this morning on the riverbed.

but hush now darling, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and -by.
hush now baby, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and-by.

crone: and now we've seen your powers
softly stretch the hours
you're a fickle little twister
are you sweet on your sister?
as now you go wandering home.

What does this mean?! : Who fucking knows.

I don’t think anyone really knows what the fuck The Tain is about, but it’s nice to listen to. It also makes me want to say “Taint” which is slang for vag which is short hand for vagina. Excellent.

The Tain

Michael Penn - Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 - Record Review

Michael Penn

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947

Score: 5.2

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 is a deceptive record, in that the first song “Walter Reed” is powerful and beautiful, but after “Walter Reed’s” three minutes and forty two seconds are up, you could probably turn it off and feel like “wow, Michael Penn is a pretty good musician.” and you could go on living your life in a state of ignorant bliss, and it would be truly sublime, because you will never have listened to the rest of this, this sap.

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 is not only annoying to type out, it is almost impenetrable as well, it moves along as slow as a snail, coated in molasses, sliding across fucking quicksand. I understand that Michael Penn is a great musician, the album is put together very well, the instruments certainly make the proper noises. I also think he says “fuck” in one of his songs. This is an album I would listen to if I wanted to slip into a coma, and while listening to it now, my eyelids grow heavy, my muscles become tired and the tap on the keyboard slows, also a trickle of drool escapes the corner of my mouth, splooshing onto the rich mahogany of my desk, creating a stain that will drive me to madness. ( I don’t like stains.)

Where was I? Ah, yes, this record sucks. While I can appreciate mellow music, this is just fucking boring, so boring and meaningless that I want to swallow a bottle of sleeping pills and put a Ziploc on my head. Oh. Wow, that wasn’t weird. Damn you, Michael Penn!

Reviewing this was a hard process, on the one hand, it sucks hard. but on the other hand, I respect it because it tries to do something genuine, something I haven’t seen in a concept album before, setting the record in 1947 and having it play out all these events from that year, like romance, politics and key inventions (“Television Set Waltz”). I can appreciate an artist who uses a time period as one of the most powerful things in the album (although, I doubt he meant for it to be the best thing about it).

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 has an interesting concept behind it, but is just not easily accessible. It actually takes willpower to sit there and listen to it in it’s gloriously boring entirety.

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947

MC Frontalot - Nerdcore Rising - Record Review

MC Frontalot

Nerdcore Rising.

Score: 9.4

As a raging nerd, I have always called out for a savior, someone that would banish the darkness of sports and “good looks” someone I could idolize. Throughout highschool I could only look to myself for unwavering strength as a nerd that enjoyed videogames, acne, and geeking on the computron. I would quote Star Wars with a stunning regularity and would try and cast spells on my foes, and when that was unsuccessful, I blamed it on my lack of experience points. In grade 11 I stumbled upon two heroes named Gabe and Tycho, they were the masters behind the extremely popular gaming webcomic Penny Arcade. For two years(and to this day), every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I would sit in front of my computer screen and squeal with absolute delight, these two people understood my plight because, they too, had suffered as I was suffering. They were/are a beacon of hope to all of my people. But they introduced me to someone who was at a greater “level” than they were at, this man, nay, demi-god named (aliased) MC Frontalot.

Upon hearing Nerdcore Rising, my heart filled with a white, pure light. Its holy glow penetrating all layers of clothing, it shone for days and days. From that day on, I vowed to convert as many people as I could to the nerd persuasion. Brothers and sisters, heed my call!
Nerdcore Rising opens with “Charity Case” a song about how poor he is, because nerds hate spending money on data. Like a true nerd, he understands this taking jabs at the RIAA and acknowledging that most people got his record off bittorrent (fuck!) not to mention a shout out to GI Joe. After hearing this song, I genuinely wanted to buy MC Frontalot’s CD. This record wields that much power.

On Nerdcore Rising, MC Frontalot rhymes about everything from Goth Girls (in “Goth Girls”) the war in Iraq (in “Special Delivery”) and even Penny Arcade (in “Penny Arcade Theme” original!) I’m not doing a great job of describing the actual music, but that’s the beauty of MC Frontalot, the beat almost become secondary to the words, the lyrics are original, genuine and hilarious at times, if you aren’t a nerd, some of it won’t make sense, but all in all accessible to everyone.

Plus, as a man/boy who enjoys “indie rock” the song “Indier than Thou” is incredibly accurate when “The Front” croons “I’m so indie that my shirt don’t fit.” and “Hipsterism is a religion to which you gotta be devout, you must be seen as in between unpopular and hated or else get excommunicated.” So true, Front, so true.

Some people complain that the CD is just a more polished version of the older songs on his website, and that’s true, but there is nothing wrong with sounding more polished as long as your record isn’t some sort of grey paste. I’ll give it a spin. and when someone fronts as much as the front..fronts, I’ll give it two or three…million! hundred!

Nerdcore Rising.

Spoon - Kill The Moonlight - Record Review

Kill The Moonlight.
Spoon
Score: 9.1


To call Kill The Moonlight a staggering work of genius would be an overstatement, but not too much of one. Released many moons ago (2002 OMG VINTAGE!) Kill The Moonlight only gets better with time, from the catchy piano openings of the popular (see: wildly commercialized) Way We Get By, to the maniacal laughs of Back to The Life. Kill The Moonlight has got to be one of the greatest albums Spoon has ever released, if not one of the best independent rock albums of the 21st Century (so far).

I realize my last statement may have seemed lofty, presumptuous and, well, like I’m just full of shit. But no! Listen to it right now. And come back to me, look me in the eyes and tell me that it wasn’t better than sex (presumably). Why is it so goddamn good? A question I have posed to the framed picture of Brit Daniel--laid upon cherry red velvet, illuminated only by the flickering of prayer candles—I have in my room. He just smiles his crooked smile, and says nothing, eyes as vacant as something that is oft vacant.

Describing exactly what makes Kill the Moonlight an instant classic, is a harrowing task at best. Something that is great about listening to Kill the Moonlight is that you can see how they progressed from here to there, there being Gimme Fiction.

The standout tracks on Kill the Moonlight are…almost all of them, Small Stakes has a great subdued guitar riff that feels like it flows from a holy place. The Way We Get By, is, obviously great, it’s as catchy as herpes (if not moreso) but I also think that The Way We Get By, is what brings the record down. Hear me out, as I said, the song is great, but it’s commercialization overshadows it’s true genius, which does not lie with this song, with the OC, or with Mean Creek (good movie, though). The commercialization of independent music is something that I could touch upon at a later date although, it would take me months to write about such a scourge.

ANYWAY, The Way We Get By, overshadows the rest of the album, while at times it feels like one of the weaker songs on the album (but by no means weak) The breathy intro to Stay Don’t Go is something I recreated for months, at work, at school, at home, EVERYWHERE, it haunted me so!
The moaning introduction of Jonathan Fisk is superb, as is the song,
The way Paper Tiger dances back and forth inside your headphones, as if being willed from right to left. All of these nuances are what makes listening to the album a profound experience.

As with all songs except for those dirty instrumentalists that people pretend to like so seem deeper than they really are. (Hey, did you hear that new explosions in the sky song? Yeah, man, it fucking rocked! YEAH, I know, I especially liked the part with the instruments and no singing, didn’t you enjoy how the music conveyed heartbreak in (insert song here) by using a medley of instruments? Listen, man, I’m not gonna lie, I fell asleep 2 minutes in) It’s not only that instrumental songs are lame (arguably) for me it only takes a couple minutes for the songs to just become ambience. I forget that it’s even on, my brain hath turned against me and my ear holes have actually sealed themselves up, from the inside!

Where was I, ah, as I was saying or trying to say, at any rate, is that songs aren’t just about the melody or the cadence, words make a song (arguably) and the words in Kill The Moonlight show real growth from A Series of Sneaks. And from here you can see a magnificent growth spurt that leads to Gimme Fiction.

While Kill the Moonlight is just a pit stop for Spoon (35 minutes) you can’t help but feel strangely upset when it is over, even though you know they have gone to a better (maybe) place.

linked at a later date.

Lily Allen- Alright, Still- Record Review

Lily Allen

Alright, Still.

Score: 6.9

Before I begin this review, understand that I am not a fan of female vocalists, mostly because whenever I hear a song, I like to sing with it, and usually my voice blends nicely with male vocals (as long as the volume is high) but trying to blend my voice with Lily Allen’s on the song Smile well, it just doesn’t work. After listening to Alright, Still I fell in love with Lily Allen, because she is the first (probably not) female vocalist to bring some fucking heat to the tracks, I mean, she still sounds like a girl (nauseatingly so, at times) but the lyrics are robust enough to look past it. Also, isn’t her English accent sooo cute?

Alright, Still is a hilarious record, but there is an underlying message of heartbreak, I would say that Lily wrote this album after a breakup, Smile and Not Big are probably the shining examples of this. Both songs are great and have light, fun beats, but the lyrics are fucking fierce, she raps (not really so much rap as singing slightly faster than usual) about how she takes comfort in her ex’s sorrow, and how the ex in questions penis is, get this, below normal size! Oh, and apparently he has ED as well. How anyone could have ED in the presence of Lily is beyond me, but that’s neither here nor there.

What makes Allen approachable and likeable isn’t that she’s pretty, her lyrics are smart, and unlike her British counterpart—Lady Sovereign—I’m not afraid of her. Even though she is mean on the album, something there just tells me that it’s her wit, and that if you come across her, she won’t actually beat the ever loving shit out of you. Her wit turns the album from alright (get it?) to something of a treasure, and unlike most British pop tarts, she has something to say, and she can deliver it in a way that isn’t offensive on the ears.

As great as Alright, Still is, there are still some flaws, after the first six tracks, the record starts to get boring, the charm of her lyrics wears off and while it’s still listenable, it’s not consistent, maybe it’s unfair of me to expect an album full of great songs, but with as much intertron hype as this one received, I still expect something more. The album is also really short, 37 minutes, but with the second half (mostly) lagging I won’t complain. The album is shiny, that is, I can see the tracks covered in some shiny protective substance, but she manages to maintain some rawness to the songs. And for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I do enjoy the raw.

While Alright, Still isn’t as magnificent as everyone hyped it up to be, I would say that it is fucking solid, and considering this is her first go. I’d say she has nowhere to go from here but upwards.

Alright, Still

Girl Talk - Night Ripper - Album Review.

Girl Talk

Night Ripper

Score: 7.6

DJ’s sampling songs is nothing new, I’m sure you’ve heard approximately 1 trillion mash-ups. The problem (arguably) is that none of them penetrate the public shield, I mean, sure, if you are a DJ fan or a fan of underground hip hop in general, you might find some rare gems, like the Grey Album, I guess. But this is where Girl Talk flourishes; Night Ripper penetrated the public shield like Jason Biggs penetrates pies.

Then someone like DJ Gregg Gillis (aka. Girl Talk, obviously) comes along and tears the absolute shit out of the genre, instead of using two songs (ala Grey Album) he takes handfuls of songs and rips them into little bits and throws them up against the proverbial wall to see what sticks. And for the most part, what sticks, is akin to some sort of magic. Before reading the rest of this review, please understand that I am in no way, shape, or form a dance music fan. In fact, I think that any song that makes me want to “bop 2 da beat” should be outlawed, if only to save the public from my “dance” moves.

The weird thing about Girl Talk is that even though he uses over a hundred songs on the album (most only for a few seconds) he puts them all together like he sees songs as puzzles and just puts together pieces of songs to create a whole new, beautiful picture. The true genius of Night Ripper is the coupling of rap with rock songs, which, by itself is nothing new, but when you hear, Ludacris, The Verve, Kelis, Oasis, Eminem, and whoever the fuck else there is, on one song. You know some shit is going down. Jesus, there is even a Neutral Milk Hotel clip, respect

By utilizing what I’m sure are none other than the darkest magics available to a mere mortal, Greg Gillis has created something spastic and delightful, but what draws a musical trivia buff (not really) to this album is seeing whether or not you can discern all the bits and pieces of songs within songs, some so short that you need to actually concentrate on the music.. A song with this many samples is obviously illegal, and while listening to it, I feel like an outlaw, so much so that if a sheriff were to kick the door to my saloon open, I would pop him with my six shooter, no questions.

The only downfall of this album is that at some points it’s too sporadic and that while concentrating on it, your brain may start to bleed from the inside. Other than that, I would say that Girl Talk isn’t timeless enough; in fact, I believe the album comes with the expiry date stamped on the front in an unrecognizable script so you have to smell test it before you listen to it. I would also advise that you bring Night Ripper to all your house parties, because it is nothing if not sexily danceable (well, maybe not on my part, but you know.)

Girl Talk - Night Ripper

Beirut - Lon Gisland EP Review

Beirut

Lon Gisland EP

Score: 8.1

It was not so long ago that Gulag Orkestar was released, and while it still floats under the radar for the most part, those who have discovered it praise it like a worshiper would…well, worship a “God”. The “God” in question is Zach Condon, a 20 year old musical wunderkind, and while almost every song on Gulag Orkestar was dazzling yet, at the same time heartbreaking, Lon Gisland offers something more (if that were possible).

Lon Gisland sounds exotic, but as you might have deduced using the power of deduction, it’s just Long Island with the G on a different part of the word. This is a neat trick, in that I can use it all the time to make myself sound smarter than I really am, for instance, when ordering drinks at my local watering hole, I saunter up to the table, dressed as dapper as humanly possible, and tell my bar wench that I would like a Lon Gisland Icedt Ea, or perhaps an Applet Ini, if I’m feeling particularly daring.

Lon Gisland opens with the old timey twang of a ukulele that Condon made great use of on Gulag Orkestar, then he jumps in with his ever eloquent vocals, and what’s great about this song is that as it progresses, you can hear new instruments being introduced after almost every verse. If you were a fan of Gulag Orkestar, you will probably enjoy this, but if you noticed that Condon’s voice in Gulag Orkestar was kind of a background instrument, you will now notice that Condon’s voice is brought to the front, or at least close to it. “Elephant Gun” really sets the tone for the record, Condon is more coherent with his lyrics, but still manages to make you not wonder (or care) what he is saying. There are still points where I doubt he is even saying words, but the reason he can get away with it is because his voice flows like an instrument, it doesn’t go over top of the music, and it’s not him singing while the band plays in the background, his voice goes right in the middle. (I was going to use a river/fish analogy, but it would have been too hard to articulate.)

“My Family’s Role in The World Revolution” Is not only a superb name for a track; it also features an all out barrage of piano, drums, and some big brass. The drumming in this song is so powerful that even though it’s under layers of other instruments, you can still hear it pounding its way through like a hundred drummers hitting the same notes in unison. The song alone is good, but what makes it great is the little mess up at the start where you can hear the band laughing and just having fun with it, same goes for the end of the song. I don’t know about you, but I crave this shit, the little things that give you some insight into the bands chemistry. Delicious.

The last GREAT track on Lon Gisland is “Scenic World (Lon Gisland Version)” This version is longer and instead of having the drum machine intro of “Scenic World” from Gulag Orkestar, it has a violin and accordion (or some shit) with a flat drum beat in the back and Condon’s voice brought to the forefront, after the first verse, the drummery turns from flat into some fucking bongo shit, it sounds like Donkey Kong is playing them. The other big difference/improvement is that the chorus is much more powerful and captivating when Condon sings them with backup. It is also 45 seconds longer, which gives Condon time to unfurl the vocals without rushing it, like he did on the Gulag Orkestar version.

The last two songs on Lon Gisland don’t stand out, especially when the first three songs are as scrumptious as they happen to be. “The Long Island Sound” is just some more instrumentals that have become the norm for Beirut, and don’t get me wrong, this isn’t bad, it’s just I could listen to a better song and get the same thing from it. For example: I could listen to “The Long Island Sound” or I could listen to “Prenzaluerberg”. They are different songs, with the same instruments,(minus the annoying ambience) but “Prenzlauerberg” is just more robust. The same theory applies to “Carousels”, while it isn’t as sparse as “The Long Island Sound”; it just isn’t as good as anything else.

While only clocking in at 16 minutes, it’s hard to get lost in it like you could with Orkestar, but considering its bigger sound and more appealing vocals, I’d say it’s a fair trade.

Condon is a genius, that much is certain, but with his voice getting stronger and his new found ability to use lyrics to his advantage. I would say Deity status isn’t too far off in the distance.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K5JS2S67

Arcade Fire- Neon Bible Review

Arcade Fire

Neon Bible.

Score: 6.8

So, it’s been three years since anyone heard anything BIG from the Arcade Fire; I mean, sure, they released an EP and a couple singles (was there even an EP? I think there was) When we last saw our heroes, they were leading the charge of the indie bands uphill battle on breaking into the mainstream media. That, as you know, all changed when they were featured on every fucking “best of 04/05” list on the whole Goddamn planet.

I remember listening to Funeral for the first time, it’s like I had just been born, and these were the first sounds that my virgin ears absorbed, the sound was frantic, larger than life, but at the same time carried melody beautifully. When you would listen to Funeral, you felt like you had left this plane of existence, from the drum intro of “Rebellion (Lies)” to the rhythmic chanting of "Wake Up", it was just a non stop barrage of, just…fucking, noise. If you don’t get what I mean, go to your CD collection (see: iTunes) and turn it on. Don’t go on MSN, just listen to it. Soak that shit up like a sponge.

Now that I’ve successfully built up their old record, let me break down their new one for you. Let me just start off by saying that the Arcade Fire would be hard-pressed to follow up Funeral with another record that was up to Funerals standards. With Funeral they set the bar high, so high that it was on the fucking moon. What also strikes me about Neon Bible is that, it’s definitely listenable, but it feels like I’ve heard it before, some of the songs strike me as dull. Whereas in Funeral all of them were sharp. I think that’s because Funeral was the first of its kind, it’s the one that didn’t just break the mold; it fucking shattered it into one zillion tiny shards.

Judging Neon Bible up against Funeral would be unfair, to the band, to me, and to you. It isn’t a fucking anthology; these are standalone records, so I will judge accordingly.

“Black Mirror,” is a pretty low key opening, it starts off with some wind sounds or some shit, and then gets into a drum opening a little like “Rebellion (Lies)” it’s all pretty calm until about 90 seconds in, you realize that this is the Arcade Fire, and, hey, whaddya know, they are still good. Butler, whose voice has improved since Funeral (good or bad?) sings hauntingly about mirrors and bombs and other shit.

The next song that surprised me on the album was “Black Wave/ Bad Vibrations,” I found I was bored for the first minute of the song, and it never dawned on me why that was. I later realized that it was because that’s when “Black Wave” ends. The” Bad Vibrations” part of the song is truly great, and pairing it up with “Black Wave” worked wonderfully, I think it speaks as a contrast for the whole album. It’s mellow in some parts, and then it tears you in half in the other parts. It’s fucking dangerous.

The title track “Neon Bible,” is an instance where the mellow aspect of the album works like a Goddamn charm. Butler doesn’t even sing this song, it sounds like it’s just flowing out of him, like a fucking tape worm, out of his mouth and spouting this hushed, beautiful song. The instrumentals also worked perfectly, they are pretty hushed, but they truly lend themselves to his voice, making it stronger and probably the most passionate it ever gets in Neon Bible.

In “The Well and The Lighthouse,” they shift gears into more of an energetic mood, but even then, it still feels weak, the strongest part of this song is Regine (?) doing backup vocals, which she does nicely, for what it’s worth.

“No Cars Go,” is—wait, hold it, “No Cars Go”? Didn’t we already hear that one a loooong time ago? YEAH, WE DID. But this time it’s more polished, which I actually think is the downfall of this album, it’s too polished, what was great about Funeral was that it was raw, honest, and energetic. And since “No Cars Go” was put out around that time, you can still hear the, what I will call, “The Arcade Fire of Old.” There’s also some weird piccolo shit in this one, and I’m feelin’ it.

“Intervention,” is probably the standout song on the record. Its opening alone is enough to reduce a mere mortal to tears, with the ominous one note organ opening, it grabs you. The whole song is consistent, bubbling over with emotion and you actually connect with it, like most songs on Funeral, you feel like you are a part of it, I guess they must have forgotten to put a nice layer of shellac over this track because it feels like one of the only genuine ones on the album.

At their worst, The Arcade Fire are great, but when they are at their best, they are fucking unstoppable. Neon Bible, as a whole, is a much darker record than their previous one. I bet their live show won’t suffer for it, but the CD experience is, for the most part, disappointing, and if anything, it takes you farther away from the band, rather than drawing you into a sweet embrace and cupping your ass firmly, but also gently. This is what we craved in the first place. Ass cupping. Oh, and Win Butler got a haircut, how weird is that shit?

-Anonymous, February 1^st, 2007.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SOTVPWFR