MC Frontalot - Secrets From The Future

MC Frontalot

Secrets From The Future

Rating: NERDTASTIC

This is MC Frontalot's second album, and usually, as we all know, second albums usually suck, or are not so good. But this one is goooood you guys, The cover art was done by Mike Krahulik, from Penny Arcade, if you have never read Penny Arcade, i strongly suggest you remove yourself from whatever rock you have been hiding under and check them out, they are like Gods. But this isn't about Penny Arcade, this is about MC Frontalot, and since his first album was truly exquisite, it's kind of hard to not feel like this album is a little weaker, because it is, but the problem is that it is still a strong album, just not AS strong, whereas Nerdcore Rising had that instantaneous sort of reaction like "wow, this is good!" Secrets From the Future takes a little time to grow on you, but once it does grow on you, there are quite a few solid tracks. Definitely recommend you give this a few spins.

MC Frontalot - Secrets From The Future.

Final Fantasy Live

Final Fantasy

Live + Flare Gun

Rating: Good (the quality isn't so hot.)

This is live Final Fantasy, I shouldn't even have to say anymore than that. If you have seen Final Fantasy live then you know that he puts on one of the greatest live shows ever, second only to (arguably) The Arcade Fire. For some reason this live show compilation is only made up of covers, the real highlights are "This Modern Love" Bloc Party cover and "No Cars Go" Arcade Fire cover. This is also includes a not live version of "Flare Gun," which is Final Fantasy's new song, it's about spam I guess. Oh, fuck. Did you guys know he's working with Zach on Beirut's new album. Good fucking Christ. I don't know if the world is ready for that jelly.


Final Fantasy Live + Flare Gun.

Patton Oswalt - Werewolves and Lollipops

Patton Oswalt

Werewolves and Lollipops

Score: Fucking Hilarious

You might have seen Patton Oswalt before, he's been doing standup for about twenty years and has been in a couple movies (small parts) and a regular on King Of Queens, he was probably the best part of that show. He's in that new movie Ratatouille (or something), it's about a rat that does stuff or cooks or something, fuck this shit. I'm done.

Patton Oswalt - Werewolves and Lollipops.

It's been a looong time.

So, as the title of the post suggests, I kind of quit blogging. It's not that I dislike blogging, I like it quite a bit. But this is first and foremost, a music blog. I'm sure you've noticed that I'm quite verbose in my writing, and that spills over to the blog posts. This isn't a good thing.

It usually takes me a day or two to write ONE review, now with work, videogames, books, etc. I can't be using all my time to blog. So I have decided from now on to only write small bits about the albums I post. I will save the verbosity for my diary. I have also stopped giving numerical ratings to the albums. I was wondering how you can listen to an album and then come up with some number, it doesn't really make much sense. From now on I'll just say if it's good or not and let you be the judge.

The New Pornographers - Challengers

New Pornographers

Challengers

Rating: Okay.

Challengers is pretty much par for the course as far as The New Pornographers are concerned, the start feels a slower than anything on Twin Cinema, but it kind of picks up with "Myriad Harbor" and then it's mostly poppy. If you liked Twin Cinema or if you just love The New Pornographers, this is probably for you. If you are looking to jump into The New Pornographers, this probably isn't their best album. Enjoy.



New Pornographers - Challengers

Sunset Rubdown Live!

Sunset Rubdown Live!

Live At Neumo’s

Score: Good Christ!

It’s been a while. I’ve been working on projects no one cares about, etc. So I thought I’d post a shawty today. It’s Sunset Rubdown, you guys! Fuck. It’s so good. Sunset Rubdown came to town a while ago but I wasn’t old enough to go. That was the day my soul died.

ANYWAY, it’s live so you can expect all the drunken screams. Spencer (who is a God by the way) is surprisingly soft spoken. His wild yelps are no indication of his real voice, which is found odd. But my beautiful falsetto isn’t really indicative of my voice. So maybe it isn’t that weird.

There are some nice new tracks on here. So enjoy it, it will probably be a month or two before Sunset Rubdown’s next album leaks.

I’ll be heading to Sasquatch(!) on Friday, so I probably won’t post anything. But then again, I never post anything anyway. I’m really just padding this post to make myself feel better. I feel good now. Do you?

Sunset Rubdown Live At Neumos

Beirut - Small Time American Bats - Record Review...Sorta.

Beirut

Small Time American Bats.

Score: 7.5

There is almost nothing on the planet earth about this record. From what I can tell, it’s before Zach Condon started to get heavily into Balkan music. But it’s still good! When I heard that Beirut would be abandoning the big brass and moving in different directions I got worried. I loved the brass and the sweeping melodies that came with it. After listening to a lot of Zach’s different stuff, I can sleep easy at night. The Real People, the Pompeii EP, and now Small Time American Bats, show that he is actually a great musician, not just a one trick pony. Even though I love the fucking trick. So let’s get down to Small Time American Bats. I think I read that it was recorded in 2002 or 2003. A couple years before Gulag Orkestar shattered all of us. There are only THREE (3) songs on the record, which means your joy will be short lived.

The first track is called “The Fish Inside of Me,” and while it is good. It is probably the weakest track on the record. Ugh, listen. Fuck this track by track bullshit. I can really appreciate the low production values and simplicity of the record. With Gulag, etc. It was all about being grandiose, but on these tracks he is just a normal kid making music in his basement. There is piano, a guitar and a drum machine. Oh and Condon’s beautiful voice to drive it along. Like I said, there are only three tracks. After the first track, shit starts to heat up with the last two, “We covered the west in phone lines,” and “The electric show.” Both are magnificent. Apologies for the shortness, but you know how Beirut leaves me grasping for words.

Beirut - Small Time American Bats

Ben Gibbard! Live!

Ben Gibbard.

Live At The 9:30 Club In Washington.

Score: Cool!

Ben Gibbard has, and probably always will be, the man who saved my life. The man who wrested my body from the dark grips of “alternative music,” think Linkin Park. Oh! How I suffered! One day I was searching around the internet, thinking about how my musical life had really gone down hill lately. I mean, yes, there was hip-hop (which I still enjoy), but there was also that genre of music that can only be described as the “Nickelback” genre. This genre is so grotesque that I am loath to even speak its name aloud, much like the students of Hogwarts are stricken with fear at the very mention of the Dark Lord Voldemort (fuck, man the movie and book come out soon). ANYWAY, my MP3 device was filled to bursting with His Dark Materials. The Materials being, Nickelback, Theory of a Deadman, and, oh Jesus, Default.

Are you shivering too? The hairs on my neck are standing at attention, like soldiers hearing their call to arms. UGH, ANYWAY, listen. I was searching around on the internet, thinking that I needed some new fucking flavor. I was typing nonsensical things into Yahoo (my search engine of choice at the time) when POW, this website stood out among all others. EPITONIC. I liked to say it, it was catchy and it rolled off of my tongue with such ease! “Click it.” A voice whispered. I did as I was instructed, who was whispering in my ear was not important, that they kept blowing lightly on the nape of my neck, was.

So I clicked Epitonic. *Click* Here has been clicked. I am on their homepage, it is so vast, as vast as the Pacific Ocean. How the FUCK am I supposed to choose which band to listen to? Well, if you are like me (and I very much doubt that you are) you pick the band with the coolest name. I went through tons of bands, some of which I still like to this day, but nothing really gripped me. I couldn’t connect. There was Three Mile Pilot, which I liked, but not enough to don the armor of indie rock until my body could bear it no more. Then I saw them.

Death Cab For Cutie. Exquisite. I downloaded the two or three tracks that were offered on the free. It was like the coming of the Apocalypse. This band, Death Cab For Cutie, had entered my world and brought with it a wave of destruction. Ben Gibbard had raised a war horn to his lips and crooned gently into it, vaporizing my beloved “alternative rockers” one by one with each concussion blast of his eerily angelic voice. The track was “Photobooth,” and I’ll never forget how it made me feel that fateful summer, like four years ago?! Fucking ridiculous. I still remember how fresh it was and how I felt so rejuvenated after hearing it. Like, here is something genuinely delicious to listen to, my ears agree that it is scrumptious. I would be ridiculed for years for listening to Death Cab for Cutie and Bright Eyes or, until it caught on. Which is just happening now! Those were bleak times indeed.

Years later, I still love Death Cab for Cutie, not as intensely as I did all those years ago. But something about their songs still resonate with me. I listen to Death Cab for Cutie when I am in the throes of (what could be loosely defined as) passion.

SO, this live show was recorded at a club, and as is the case with clubs, there are people. Annoying people. You have been warned! Also, the recording is a little spotty in some parts, but all in all an enjoyable listen, I really like his banter. A little nerdy. But at “music is for eating” that is what we are about.

Oh, and look at his fucking glasses. I love this man.

PS. The file is fucking huge.

Ben Gibbard Live.

Spiderman 3 OST- Record Review

Spiderman 3 OST

Various Artists

Score: 6.8

There’s always something a little tawdry about the Spiderman soundtracks. Something so dark and cheap that I am loath to even write about it, they are just so engineered. You don’t believe me? Okay, well, let’s let the tracklists for the last two Spiderman soundtracks speak for themselves, shall we?

Spiderman (2002)

1. Theme From Spider Man

2. Hero - Chad Kroeger (feat. Josey Scott)

3. What We're All About - Sum 41

4. Learn To Crawl - Black Lab

5. Somebody Else – Bleu

6. Bug Bites - Alien Ant Farm

7. Blind – Default

8. Bother - Corey Taylor

9. Shelter - Greenwheel

10. When It Started - The Strokes

11. Hate To Say I Told You So - The Hives

12. Invisible Man - Theory Of A Dead Man

13. Undercover - Pete Yorn

14. My Nutmeg Phantasy - Macy Gray (feat. Angie Stone and Mos Def)(Tom Morello Mix)

15. I - IV - V - Injected

16. She Was My Girl - Jerry Cantrell

17. Main Titles - Danny Elfman

18. Farewell - Danny Elfman

19. Theme from Spiderman – Aerosmith

This blatantly cashes in on the Nickelback craze; in fact, I think that THREE of the bands on this soundtrack are either Nickelback or Nickelback operating under a different guise. Oh and then there’s that song “What we’re all about” by Sum 41 where the chorus was “ROCK! It’s what we’re all about, it’s what we live for, come on and shout it out!” I thought it was always really funny to substitute the “ROCK!” with “COCK!” and the “we’re” with “you’re” I had very few friends. ANYWAY, this cashes in on the musical fad of 2002 which were.

1.) Nickelback.

2.) Bands that sounded like Nickelback.

3.) “The” Bands, The Hives, The Strokes, The Vines, The The’s

4.) Danny Elfman.

Now that I have distilled their dark work, let’s begin on the second Spiderman soundtrack.

Spiderman 2 (2004)

1. Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional

2. Ordinary - Train

3. Did You - Hoobastank

4. Hold On – Jet

5. Gifts And Curses - Yellowcard

6. Woman - Maroon 5

7. This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know) - Taking Back Sunday

8. Give It Up - Midtown

9. Lucky You – lostprophets

10. Who I Am - Smile Empty Soul

11. The Night That The Lights Went Out In NYC - The Ataris

12. We Are - Ana

13. Someone To Die For - Jimmy Gnecco featuring Brian May

14. Spidey Suite - Danny Elfman

15. Doc Ock Suite - Danny Elfman

AHHHH! The game they play is so brazen! This is obviously a vehicle for the 2004 musical fad. One that hasn’t really disintegrated, but hasn’t been thriving as heartily as it was in 2004; in 2004 there was a fucking surfeit of these bands, and they were a dime a fucking dozen. And they sounded like it! Why would they pile shitty bands onto a soundtrack for an almost awesome movie? The logic is so abstruse that I can’t even begin to grapple with it. To try would be akin to going toe to toe with Goliath. That being said, I can honestly say that I did not enjoy this soundtrack at all. With Spiderman that “Hero” song was my fucking theme song that summer. Not only because I loved Spiderman, but there was something so epic about it.

However, with this one, the soundtrack was tuned toward people that were listening to things totally independent of my culture.

I never understood the allure of Dashboard Confessional; I understood why females loved him, he was all torn up about shit. About how girls didn’t like him and always left him, but the thing they failed to realize was that Chris Carraba was fucking rolling in vagina. The very thought of that disgusts me. You fucking knew that when he got off stage he stepped into his dressing room and WHOOSH! He was knee deep in vagina!

ANYWAY, on this one it was the pop/punk/”emo” vibe they tried to cash in on. And I’m sure when they released it, the clouds opened up and cash money poured from the sky and the Sony execs, mouths open, face turned skyward, swallowed it all up in one gulp.

OKAY, so we have ripped apart the first two Spiderman soundtracks, now let’s dig in on the third.

Spiderman 3 (2007)

1. Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

2. Move Away - The Killers

3. Sealings - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

4. Pleased To Meet You - Wolfmother

5. Red River - The Walkmen

6. Stay Free - Black Mountain

7. The Supreme Being Teaches Spider-Man How To Be In Love - The Flaming Lips

8. Scared Of Myself - Simon Dawes

9. The Twist - Chubby Checker

10. Sightlines - Rogue Wave

11. Summer Day - Coconut Records

12. Falling Star - Jet

13. Portrait Of A Summer Thief - Sounds Under Radio

14. A Letter From St. Jude - Wasted Youth

15. Small Parts - The Oohlas

The ploy is once again naked, stripped bare and laid in front of us. There is something different about this record, though. This record has GOOD songs. Unlike the last two, the tracks selected are decent; I can listen to most of them without crying out in anguish. Even bands that usually suck have done good things. They done as good as they could.

For instance, let’s take Snow Patrol’s “Signal Fire.” I used to like Snow Patrol, they had some good songs “Spitting Games”, “Chocolate”, “Run”, etc. But ever since “Chasing Cars” has been on every single fucking TV show on every single fucking network, my tolerance for them hath grown short. But “Signal Fire” is actually a genuinely decent song. Let’s put it this way, I don’t love it, but at the same time, I don’t execrate it.

Fuck man, even The Killers song isn’t horrible! The end is fucking nigh.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs contribute a good song, and I don’t even really like them. I’ll stop here because I’ll probably say the same thing about every track. It is okay.

The theme of this album is obviously “alternative rock” which is a mainstream way of saying “independent” even though some of these guys aren’t. But they have the feel of independent. Whenever I start to get into the music, I remember it is the fucking Spiderman 3 soundtrack and I feel really cheap and dirty. And for that reason, I could never really love it.

Spiderman 3 OST

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! Live!

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!

Live Bonus Tracks

Score: Hit and Miss!

So I’m a big Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! fan, partly because they hyperbolize that shit! And I love to hyperbolize. As for their live recording…well, it’s hit and miss. During some tracks you can hear some drunk people singing, that’s never a good sign (except if it’s me belting out Big Pimpin’) Also with the lead singers voice, it’s hard for him to nail that squeal every time. I don’t blame him, I’m just saying.

Look, I’m only posting this so I can get 10 posts in one month. I’ve got my hand in too many fucking cookie jars! I’m working, writing TWO (2) separate essays, both monolithic in stature, Spiderman 3 comes out on Friday, Michael Chabon’s new book comes out tomorrow, I’m getting a ping-pong table, I’m working on some music, and some music reviews (full albums!) I’ve got like 6 on the go right now, I’m looking forward to reviewing MC Frontalot’s new album, as well as a couple of mc chris’s stuff (which is dominating my “25 most played” playlist)

Oh yeah, and if all that shit wasn’t bad enough, Mass Effect isn’t coming out until September, fuck you, Bioware. (if you aren’t a gamer…well then that made no sense)

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! Live!

The Shins Live!

The Shins

Live iTunes Exclusive

Score: Subpar!

I’m not a big fan of The Shins. This might come as a startling surprise to most of you. Because how can you like indie rock and not like The Shins? It’s like blasphemy except worse! Listen, I have no problem with The Shins, it’s just that I don’t enjoy them as much as everyone else does, I also have the same sort of relationship with Feist (and as a Canadian, I receive double the flack) But just because Zach Braff pimped it in Garden State doesn’t make them a great band, they are a good band. Some of their songs are really good, some subpar. I’m sorry if you didn’t want to hear this from your savior.

Ps. that drowning kid totally makes this post.

The Shins Live

The Decemberists Live.

The Decemberists

Live From SoHo (iTunes Exclusive)/Live At The Zoo

Score: Bitchin'

I've been sick for the last couple days, so besides contemplating getting drunk off of robitussin, which, by the way, is SUPER fucking dangerous, you can even die! how scary is that shit? anyway, between that I've downloading episodes of Full Metal Alchemist in Japanese with English subs (Japanese is really cool!) Now that you know my nerdity is not some grim facade, I really do suck this much! We may begin our dark work.

You may very well know my stance on "exclusives" that stance being that they are the absolute fucking devil. "Exclusives" are things that can only be acquired at certain places at certain times. I don't like feeling shackled by these limitations, I'd like it if i could grab exclusives anywhere, anyfuckingtime, but then it wouldn't be exclusive, right? My qualms with "exclusives" aside, this will be enjoyable for anyone who has seen the Decemberists live (i have!) and want to relive something like it, or just the Decemberists completist. The Live From SoHo was recorded in a Mac store, because as you know, Mac stores have the (arguably) best acoustics. I decided to include TWO (2) live recordings, the Live From SoHo is only 128 so it's a little on the soft side, but the Live at The Zoo recording is 192 which is much better.

Fun Fact: Although they have never answered this question in any interview I have read (many). I believe that the Decemberists got their name from the word Decembrist. A Decembrist is one who took part in the unsuccessful uprising against the Russian Emperor Nicholas I in December of 1825. Did I just blow your mind?

Live At SoHo

Live At The Zoo

don't wanna die sippin' on syrup.

For The Pure Ones.

Hello humble readership! Anyone who knows me (i.e. none of you) knows that I am not quick to anger, not quick to raise my fist in the air and become a self appointed champion for a cause. While my fist may be raised in anger now, I am by no means a champion for this cause. I am but one crusader in this journey, a journey where I won’t have to look over my back to see if The Man is attempting to anally penetrate me or if he has dispatched one of his cronies, who I will be calling Lesser Men, which they truly are, Lesser Humans, epsilon fucking minus’ multiplied by infinity plus one. These people hound our disorganized organization, they wish to bring about the fall of a group of outstanding individuals, they wish for the death of the FMC! You may be wondering what precisely the FMC is, but you already know, because you are a part, even though I have yet to send you your registration papers and complimentary mug, and you know you are a part, because when I said FMC your heart knew that this was a just cause. The FMC stands for The Free Media Coalition, The FMC, or if you don’t like the fancy word Coalition, just pretend it stands for The Free Media Cru, it’s more street that way.

The event that brought about this call to arms was one I dread to remember. It was like any other night, I had one of my dogs over to play Gears of War and I was cruising a music blog, this music blog is vast, it’s like an ocean filled to the brim with music! Anyway, while on his blog, I went to the comments section, just to see how many people are praising him for doing this important work, much to my chagrin, his comments section was rife with people shaming him!

Just look at these:

Anonymous said...

please take down the links to:
Elk City - New Believers
Yacht - I Believe in You Your Magic Is Real
We All Have Hooks For Hands - The Pretender
Jesse Malin - Glitter in the Gutter
Stars - Do You Trust Your Friends?
A Sunny Day In Glasgow - Scribble Mural Comic Journal
Bright Eyes - Cassadaga
Voxtrot - Voxtrot

i don't think a SINGLE one of these bands or their respective labels are appreciative of you flaunting illegal downloads of their music. for shame.

Verdict: self righteous asshole.

Anonymous said...

Take down all the records you are illegally offering, ie ALL of them.

Verdict: who the fuck are you?

Ian said...

Hey, could you please take these records down. It's just not cool. I run Afternoon Records (the label We All Have Hooks For Hands is on), and it just hurts to see this.
Feel free to contact me at ian@aftenroonrecords.com

Verdict: yeah, sure Ian, just because you run a record label doesn’t mean you can just tell this guy to take ALL his shit down. that’s just not cool, man.

Look, I am sympathetic to the Afternoon Records guy, but only if he was suggesting the owner of the blog taking down all the We All Have Hooks For Hands records, but his request is just ludicrous. You’ll notice that most of the commentators are quick to dole out the word shame. So how about I serve up a couple words that could very well describe the people who post on other peoples blogs, just to tell them how much they disagree/are brought to the point of retching by the very thought of free(illegal) music.

dicks, fuckers, assholes, cunts, ne’er do wells, pricks, self righteous, people with nothing better to do, cuntmuscles, lifeless, soul eaters, dark lord Sauron, Satan, baby eaters.

Listen, these guys (demons who assume the shape of humans) are just self righteous assholes, ask them to dismount their high horses or toss a rope to the belfry (where they no doubt ring the bell of injustice!) of their ivory towers and ask them to return to the ground, just long enough for you to scoop out their eyeballs with a ice cream scooper.

It might sound like I think this is one big joke, nay, I only use humor to thinly veil my disgust, as a semi-amateur photographer, do you think I care if someone right clicks on my .jpeg and saves it to their hard disc!? I don’t care, because I can’t stop it. Hey, you. Yeah, you. Have you saved any .jpeg files in your life? Because you know that it’s technically the property of whoever took the picture or made the design or whatever, so, if you have saved any illegal .jpegs, I would urge, no, plead with you to turn yourself in to the authorities or at the very least take them down before your soul is sentenced to eternal damnation! But why don’t these self righteous crusaders care about people saving/stealing images?

Well, part of it is because the government has yet to regulate what you can view, another is that they are probably hypocrites. They have never taped anything on a VCR or a DVD Recorder, never ever taped something on a cassette tape for their sweetheart, they have never broken any rules, never lent a rented DVD to a friend. These people are pure. Souls whiter than a fresh snowfall. Yeah, right.

Without downloading music, I would never have heard half of the bands that are now in my repertoire, I would have never gone to any of their shows, bought any of their merch. If it weren’t for downloadable music, I would still be in my basement listening to Linkin Park or Three Days Grace, instead I’m in the basement listening to Beirut, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone, MC Frontalot, and mc chris. Do you think anyone who hasn’t been exposed to the scourge that is downloadable music would be listening to mc chris?! NO. For smaller artists it is certainly give and take, they don’t sell so many records, but the shows are packed (or more packed than without music downloads)

And do you honestly think that I’m going to go my local record shoppe (HMV) and buy the Gulag Orkestar which costs a million or more dollars? Listen, I fucking LOVE Beirut, but I’m not going to take out a second mortgage on my house just to listen to them, I would rather pay the same amount or more and go see him live, and buy some merchandise, at least then the band will actually see the fucking money.

Let’s go back to the people who were on the fucking site in the first place, what were you doing there? Why not just leave? Do you think people actually give a shit what other people think, let alone the fucking owner of the blog? “oh, I guess some assholes got mad and told me to take down ALL my illegal records, I better comply or they might whine some more.” Get a fucking life.

FMC 4 LYFE!

Beirut! LIVE! At SXSW

Blogger is being a bitch and not letting me upload a photo of Zach Condon blowing into his trumpet or whatever, because that's why he's usually doing in pictures. Pretty self explanatory here, just a live Beirut show I came across in my journey to collect all things Beirut. Enjoy.

NOTE: I've changed all my file hosting to sharebee just to see if anyone even fucking downloads this stuff. the results will no doubt be terrifying.

Beirut Live At SXSW!

The Decemberists -The Tain EP - Record Review

The Tain EP

The Decemberists

Score: 7.5

Songs that are 18 minutes and 35 seconds long are rarely good, actually, they are almost always absolute atrocities. Crimes against man. With self indulgent guitar solos that will “totally alter your reality” if you are baked out of your fucking mind. This is why stoners, or ex/sometimes/ if I’m at a party stoners will always get super pissed when I tell them that I absolutely fucking detested Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd, no matter how influential on modern rock they have become, I abhor them.

That being said, The Decemberists released an opus to rival even that of Zep or Floyd, which is, as I said before, and 18 minute and 35 second epic. The Tain is The Decemberists retelling of an old Irish myth called Táin Bó Cúailnge or The Cattle Raid Of Cooley or, as you see it here, The Tain. The legend is pretty fucked up, there are curses, trysts, and crazy Irish names, like Aillil and Medb, I am also led to believe there was a battle over extremely fertile bulls. Yes, animals.

Above is the link for the story if you really want to know what the hell is really going on. this is a site for music, so I’m not going to try and interpret Irish mythology, no matter how fertile the livestock may be.

So let’s get down to the dirt here, what exactly is happening? There are five parts to The Tain. If you break it apart piece by piece, you get a better idea of how the story goes.

Part I

crone: here upon this pillow
made of reed and willow
you're a fickle little twister
are you sweet on your sister?
your fallow won't leave you alone.

and granted for their pleasure
possesions laid to measure
she's a salty little pisser
with your cock in her kisser
but now she's a will of her own.

What does this mean?! : I’m guessing this is where the Queen (Medb) and King (Aillil) are comparing their riches to that of their rival Ulster, they plan to steal Ulster’s bull in order to be as rich, or richer than him.

Part II

husband: damn your ankles and eyes wide
from you fingernails to your ponytails too.
king of the insects and the m-5
over charlemagne in a motorcade too.

and baby needs a new prize
baby needs a new and shiny prize.

captain: in this place called heavenly
you were born here.
this place called heavenly
you were born here.
you were born here.

husband: and now all the marchers descend from high
i will dedicate all of my awakenings to this.

and damn all the angles that opress my sight
i will bleed your heart through a samovar soon.

captain: in this place called heavenly
you were born here.
this place called heavenly
you were born here.
you were born here.

What does this mean?! : I think here is where the King is getting pissed that his wife just can’t be silent, they are having to go to war for a bull just to keep his woman content. King Aillil seriously needs to keep his pimp hand strong.

PART III

soldier: they settled dust in your hair
to watch you shake and shout it out.
with our armaments bared
we shed our bags and travel alls.

from the lee of the wall
he comes in the chang and the chariot
and all his eunuchs in thrall
can scarce lift his line and lariat.

here com loose his hounds
to blow me down.

chorus of waifs: blow me down.

soldier: on this stretch of ground
i'll lay me down.

chorus of waifs: lay me down.

soldier: to sleep.

chaplain: and now stricken with pangs
that tear at our backs like thistle down
the mirror's soft silver tain
reflects our last and birthing hour

soldier: here com loose his hounds
to blow me down.

chorus of waifs: blow me down.

soldier: on this stretch of ground
i'll lay me down.

chorus of waifs: lay me down.

soldier: to sleep.

What does this mean?! : This is the war part. Where Cú Chulainn and Fer Diad fight it out. Cu wins after three days, and is stricken with sorrow because he had to kill his foster brother.

PART IV

evening

widow: o the wind is blowing, it hurts your skin
as you climb up hillside, forest and fen.

your arms full of lullabies, orchids and wine
your memories wrapped within paper and twine.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

when the dawn comes to greet you, you'll rise with clothes on
and advance with the others, singing old songs
of cattle and maidens and withered old queens.
let the music carry you on.

the room that you lie in is dusty and hard
sleeping soft babies on piles of yards
of gingham, taffeta, cotton and silk
your dry hungry mouths cry for your mother's milk.

What does this mean?! : This is clearly after the battle and portrays the aftermath. Jesus, I don’t even know.

PART V

woman: darling dear what have you done?
your clothes are town, your make-up runs.

daughter: i ran through brambles, blooming thistle
i washed my face in the river when you whistled me on.

woman: darling dear, what have you done?
your hands and face are smeared with blood.

daughter: the chaplain came and called me out
to beat and to butcher his mother's sow

woman: but darling dear, they found him dead
this morning on the riverbed.

but hush now darling, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and -by.
hush now baby, don't you cry.
your reward's in the sweet by-and-by.

crone: and now we've seen your powers
softly stretch the hours
you're a fickle little twister
are you sweet on your sister?
as now you go wandering home.

What does this mean?! : Who fucking knows.

I don’t think anyone really knows what the fuck The Tain is about, but it’s nice to listen to. It also makes me want to say “Taint” which is slang for vag which is short hand for vagina. Excellent.

The Tain

Sunset Rubdown - We've Got Broken Eyes- Track Review

Sunset Rubdown

We've Got Broken Eyes

Score: 4/5

This one is a bit of a rarity, seeing as it isn’t found on any of the Sunset Rubdown LP’s or EP’s. I can’t understand this, because it is by far (arguably) one of the best Sunset Rubdown songs to date. In We’ve Got Broken Eyes, Krug sets the tone of the song early quickly piling up, otherwise annoying as hell noises, to make beautiful ones. Which is one of Krug’s seemingly endless talents, making things that would otherwise sound horrible and making it sound like replacing them with softer, more universally enjoyable noises would just be “ridonkulous” . Upon writing this review, I listened to the song heavily, never once understanding what exactly in Gods name, Krug is shrieking about. Except for “Lord, I think the city’s been hypnotized/kiddies got a lot of shit in their eyes.” Now that is the Krug we have grown to love, even if you do know the words, you still don’t know what (if anything) they are pertaining to. There are parts where I doubt he is even speaking a dialect which is recognizable in North America, or even the world. Maybe C3PO knows what the fuck he’s saying, maybe not. At one point in the song, it sounds like Krug is singing twice, with one voice, saying different things in the same tone, it is truly bizarre, but that is the real genius here. We’ve Got Broken Eyes is so bizarre and jangled that I don’t know what’s happening; I’m confused, scared, and at times hungry. All I know is that when the song is done (6:58) My ears are ringing with joy but my mind is a smoking ruin.

We've Got Broken Eyes

Michael Penn - Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 - Record Review

Michael Penn

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947

Score: 5.2

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 is a deceptive record, in that the first song “Walter Reed” is powerful and beautiful, but after “Walter Reed’s” three minutes and forty two seconds are up, you could probably turn it off and feel like “wow, Michael Penn is a pretty good musician.” and you could go on living your life in a state of ignorant bliss, and it would be truly sublime, because you will never have listened to the rest of this, this sap.

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 is not only annoying to type out, it is almost impenetrable as well, it moves along as slow as a snail, coated in molasses, sliding across fucking quicksand. I understand that Michael Penn is a great musician, the album is put together very well, the instruments certainly make the proper noises. I also think he says “fuck” in one of his songs. This is an album I would listen to if I wanted to slip into a coma, and while listening to it now, my eyelids grow heavy, my muscles become tired and the tap on the keyboard slows, also a trickle of drool escapes the corner of my mouth, splooshing onto the rich mahogany of my desk, creating a stain that will drive me to madness. ( I don’t like stains.)

Where was I? Ah, yes, this record sucks. While I can appreciate mellow music, this is just fucking boring, so boring and meaningless that I want to swallow a bottle of sleeping pills and put a Ziploc on my head. Oh. Wow, that wasn’t weird. Damn you, Michael Penn!

Reviewing this was a hard process, on the one hand, it sucks hard. but on the other hand, I respect it because it tries to do something genuine, something I haven’t seen in a concept album before, setting the record in 1947 and having it play out all these events from that year, like romance, politics and key inventions (“Television Set Waltz”). I can appreciate an artist who uses a time period as one of the most powerful things in the album (although, I doubt he meant for it to be the best thing about it).

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947 has an interesting concept behind it, but is just not easily accessible. It actually takes willpower to sit there and listen to it in it’s gloriously boring entirety.

Mr. Hollywood Jr. 1947

mc chris - life's a bitch and i'm her pimp - not record review

mc chris

life's a bitch and i'm her pimp

score : 7.1

I can’t really describe it, but you need to listen to it.

mc chris - life's a bitch and i'm her pimp

Beirut LIVE! at The Holocene.

Beirut

Live at The Holocene

Score: infinity.


As the title suggests, this is the wonderfully delicious, Beirut, oh, and they are fucking LIVE. I have said on many occasions that I would trade a significant body part for the utter delight of seeing Beirut live, hearing those tamborine jangles dancing around the room and into my ears, to see Zach Condon blow heavily into his trumpet, just to fucking live it.

The performance takes place in Portland Oregon, at The Holocene sometime in 2006, and it is incredible. I won't review it, but the recording is almost flawless and the acoustics are wondrous. The banter is where it really excels, pieces of the performance are solely dedicated to it. For die hard Beirut fans like myself, there is another treat, there are some new songs, like "Closing Song" and "Transatlantic" there are also some covers (I think, since I heard the same songs in "Borat") the covers are "Ederlezi" "Siki Siki Baba" and "Brazil"

Just enjoy it, love it, penetrate it in ways you have only seen in erotic cinema, etc.

Beirut Live at The Holocene

MC Frontalot - Nerdcore Rising - Record Review

MC Frontalot

Nerdcore Rising.

Score: 9.4

As a raging nerd, I have always called out for a savior, someone that would banish the darkness of sports and “good looks” someone I could idolize. Throughout highschool I could only look to myself for unwavering strength as a nerd that enjoyed videogames, acne, and geeking on the computron. I would quote Star Wars with a stunning regularity and would try and cast spells on my foes, and when that was unsuccessful, I blamed it on my lack of experience points. In grade 11 I stumbled upon two heroes named Gabe and Tycho, they were the masters behind the extremely popular gaming webcomic Penny Arcade. For two years(and to this day), every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I would sit in front of my computer screen and squeal with absolute delight, these two people understood my plight because, they too, had suffered as I was suffering. They were/are a beacon of hope to all of my people. But they introduced me to someone who was at a greater “level” than they were at, this man, nay, demi-god named (aliased) MC Frontalot.

Upon hearing Nerdcore Rising, my heart filled with a white, pure light. Its holy glow penetrating all layers of clothing, it shone for days and days. From that day on, I vowed to convert as many people as I could to the nerd persuasion. Brothers and sisters, heed my call!
Nerdcore Rising opens with “Charity Case” a song about how poor he is, because nerds hate spending money on data. Like a true nerd, he understands this taking jabs at the RIAA and acknowledging that most people got his record off bittorrent (fuck!) not to mention a shout out to GI Joe. After hearing this song, I genuinely wanted to buy MC Frontalot’s CD. This record wields that much power.

On Nerdcore Rising, MC Frontalot rhymes about everything from Goth Girls (in “Goth Girls”) the war in Iraq (in “Special Delivery”) and even Penny Arcade (in “Penny Arcade Theme” original!) I’m not doing a great job of describing the actual music, but that’s the beauty of MC Frontalot, the beat almost become secondary to the words, the lyrics are original, genuine and hilarious at times, if you aren’t a nerd, some of it won’t make sense, but all in all accessible to everyone.

Plus, as a man/boy who enjoys “indie rock” the song “Indier than Thou” is incredibly accurate when “The Front” croons “I’m so indie that my shirt don’t fit.” and “Hipsterism is a religion to which you gotta be devout, you must be seen as in between unpopular and hated or else get excommunicated.” So true, Front, so true.

Some people complain that the CD is just a more polished version of the older songs on his website, and that’s true, but there is nothing wrong with sounding more polished as long as your record isn’t some sort of grey paste. I’ll give it a spin. and when someone fronts as much as the front..fronts, I’ll give it two or three…million! hundred!

Nerdcore Rising.

Spoon - Kill The Moonlight - Record Review

Kill The Moonlight.
Spoon
Score: 9.1


To call Kill The Moonlight a staggering work of genius would be an overstatement, but not too much of one. Released many moons ago (2002 OMG VINTAGE!) Kill The Moonlight only gets better with time, from the catchy piano openings of the popular (see: wildly commercialized) Way We Get By, to the maniacal laughs of Back to The Life. Kill The Moonlight has got to be one of the greatest albums Spoon has ever released, if not one of the best independent rock albums of the 21st Century (so far).

I realize my last statement may have seemed lofty, presumptuous and, well, like I’m just full of shit. But no! Listen to it right now. And come back to me, look me in the eyes and tell me that it wasn’t better than sex (presumably). Why is it so goddamn good? A question I have posed to the framed picture of Brit Daniel--laid upon cherry red velvet, illuminated only by the flickering of prayer candles—I have in my room. He just smiles his crooked smile, and says nothing, eyes as vacant as something that is oft vacant.

Describing exactly what makes Kill the Moonlight an instant classic, is a harrowing task at best. Something that is great about listening to Kill the Moonlight is that you can see how they progressed from here to there, there being Gimme Fiction.

The standout tracks on Kill the Moonlight are…almost all of them, Small Stakes has a great subdued guitar riff that feels like it flows from a holy place. The Way We Get By, is, obviously great, it’s as catchy as herpes (if not moreso) but I also think that The Way We Get By, is what brings the record down. Hear me out, as I said, the song is great, but it’s commercialization overshadows it’s true genius, which does not lie with this song, with the OC, or with Mean Creek (good movie, though). The commercialization of independent music is something that I could touch upon at a later date although, it would take me months to write about such a scourge.

ANYWAY, The Way We Get By, overshadows the rest of the album, while at times it feels like one of the weaker songs on the album (but by no means weak) The breathy intro to Stay Don’t Go is something I recreated for months, at work, at school, at home, EVERYWHERE, it haunted me so!
The moaning introduction of Jonathan Fisk is superb, as is the song,
The way Paper Tiger dances back and forth inside your headphones, as if being willed from right to left. All of these nuances are what makes listening to the album a profound experience.

As with all songs except for those dirty instrumentalists that people pretend to like so seem deeper than they really are. (Hey, did you hear that new explosions in the sky song? Yeah, man, it fucking rocked! YEAH, I know, I especially liked the part with the instruments and no singing, didn’t you enjoy how the music conveyed heartbreak in (insert song here) by using a medley of instruments? Listen, man, I’m not gonna lie, I fell asleep 2 minutes in) It’s not only that instrumental songs are lame (arguably) for me it only takes a couple minutes for the songs to just become ambience. I forget that it’s even on, my brain hath turned against me and my ear holes have actually sealed themselves up, from the inside!

Where was I, ah, as I was saying or trying to say, at any rate, is that songs aren’t just about the melody or the cadence, words make a song (arguably) and the words in Kill The Moonlight show real growth from A Series of Sneaks. And from here you can see a magnificent growth spurt that leads to Gimme Fiction.

While Kill the Moonlight is just a pit stop for Spoon (35 minutes) you can’t help but feel strangely upset when it is over, even though you know they have gone to a better (maybe) place.

linked at a later date.

Silvershit Pickups- Lazy Eye - Track Review

The Silversun Pickups

Lazy Eye

Score: 1.3/5

I hate this song.


I don’t even know if the lead singer is actually saying words in this song, it sounds like gibberish and he sounds a bit like a baby.

However, in defiance of my ears, my mind actually kind of likes it, the arrangement of the song is pretty well done, in that the cadence of the ups and downs is familiar and warm, the vocals are soft as fontanel. Which makes it that much more hilarious when he starts to scream a bit in the middle of the song, and brother, believe me when I tell you that this “gruff” yelling is hilarious, he fails on every level to be xtuffXcorex.

God, how I loathe it, but I still find myself tapping my foot, my head slowly moving to and fro, my soul turning in on itself, my spirit begging to leave its immaculate vessel.

Oh, and I saw these guys on Letterman or Leno or O’Brien, whatever, anyways, their stage presence is dreadful! The lead singer has less charisma and stage presence than the lead singer of Keane! If you can fucking believe it. Apart from Lazy Eye, which is (arguably) their only song kind of semi worth lowering yourself for, I would advise you never torture yourself by listening to another song. Oh, and just in case anyone says “Give them a chance! They could be good or something!”

I do have one positive thing to say, the bassist (maybe) is pretty cute and she might look like Maggie Gyllenhaal (who is cute…well, sometimes, have you ever noticed that?)

I’m not even going to link to it.

Bloc Party - The Once And Future King - Track Review

Bloc Party

The Once And Future King (Target Exclusive)

Score: 2/5

Oh, Bloc Party, how this review pains me so!

Being a huge Bloc Party fan makes me a little biased, in that I believe that everything Bloc Party puts out is absolute gold! But in this case, not even my wide eyed idealism of a pure and true Bloc Party can shield me against this absolute mound of excrement.

For A Weekend In The City, Bloc Party recorded a bunch of B-sides and store exclusive tracks, wait, what? Store exclusive? Like, songs for stores? Almost, these are songs that you could only get at certain stores, or some shit, you know what? To be honest, I don’t even fucking know what it means! But The Once And Future King is a “Target Exclusive” and, my friends, let me be the first to warn you, it is just, words can’t even describe what they have done here, the Bloc Party of yore is dead, the Bloc Party that makes exclusive tracks for department stores is in!

The ferocious drumming and the precision guitar work is still there (kinda), but what’s missing is Kele Okerekes voice. He is still singing, but this time he croons lackadaisically about who the fuck knows, maybe about how much Target is paying him for this shit? (upon further review, he is singing about a king cut down in his prime and then he vows to make a triumphant return) It really doesn’t matter what he’s singing about, the fact is that this song lacks the zest that the other songs are filled to bursting with. And I guess that’s what Target is all about. Cheap shit.

The Once And Future King

Lily Allen- Alright, Still- Record Review

Lily Allen

Alright, Still.

Score: 6.9

Before I begin this review, understand that I am not a fan of female vocalists, mostly because whenever I hear a song, I like to sing with it, and usually my voice blends nicely with male vocals (as long as the volume is high) but trying to blend my voice with Lily Allen’s on the song Smile well, it just doesn’t work. After listening to Alright, Still I fell in love with Lily Allen, because she is the first (probably not) female vocalist to bring some fucking heat to the tracks, I mean, she still sounds like a girl (nauseatingly so, at times) but the lyrics are robust enough to look past it. Also, isn’t her English accent sooo cute?

Alright, Still is a hilarious record, but there is an underlying message of heartbreak, I would say that Lily wrote this album after a breakup, Smile and Not Big are probably the shining examples of this. Both songs are great and have light, fun beats, but the lyrics are fucking fierce, she raps (not really so much rap as singing slightly faster than usual) about how she takes comfort in her ex’s sorrow, and how the ex in questions penis is, get this, below normal size! Oh, and apparently he has ED as well. How anyone could have ED in the presence of Lily is beyond me, but that’s neither here nor there.

What makes Allen approachable and likeable isn’t that she’s pretty, her lyrics are smart, and unlike her British counterpart—Lady Sovereign—I’m not afraid of her. Even though she is mean on the album, something there just tells me that it’s her wit, and that if you come across her, she won’t actually beat the ever loving shit out of you. Her wit turns the album from alright (get it?) to something of a treasure, and unlike most British pop tarts, she has something to say, and she can deliver it in a way that isn’t offensive on the ears.

As great as Alright, Still is, there are still some flaws, after the first six tracks, the record starts to get boring, the charm of her lyrics wears off and while it’s still listenable, it’s not consistent, maybe it’s unfair of me to expect an album full of great songs, but with as much intertron hype as this one received, I still expect something more. The album is also really short, 37 minutes, but with the second half (mostly) lagging I won’t complain. The album is shiny, that is, I can see the tracks covered in some shiny protective substance, but she manages to maintain some rawness to the songs. And for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I do enjoy the raw.

While Alright, Still isn’t as magnificent as everyone hyped it up to be, I would say that it is fucking solid, and considering this is her first go. I’d say she has nowhere to go from here but upwards.

Alright, Still

Cassadaga Tracklist Revealed!

Cassadaga Tracklist For Realsies!
(Wait, he means Talladega Nights? Right?)

The all powerful mystics over at NME got their hands on the tracklist for Bright Eyes new album, titled...Cassadaga (yeah, i know! that's the title of this blog entry!)

The album is to be released on April 10th 2007 and features M.Ward, and some girls from Sleater-Kinney,oh, I'm sorry, women from Sleater-Kinney.

'Clairaudients' (Kill or Be Killed)
'Four Winds'
'If the Brakeman Turns My Way'
'Hot Knives'
'Make a Plan to Love Me'
'Soul Singer in a Session Band'
'Classic Cars'
'Middleman'
'Cleanse Song'
'No One Would Riot for Less'
'Coat Check Dream Song'
'I Must Belong Somewhere'
'Lime Tree'

So, that's it, 13 (i think) tracks, and I can vouch for Four Winds, it's on the Four Winds EP, and it's actually really great.

Girl Talk - Night Ripper - Album Review.

Girl Talk

Night Ripper

Score: 7.6

DJ’s sampling songs is nothing new, I’m sure you’ve heard approximately 1 trillion mash-ups. The problem (arguably) is that none of them penetrate the public shield, I mean, sure, if you are a DJ fan or a fan of underground hip hop in general, you might find some rare gems, like the Grey Album, I guess. But this is where Girl Talk flourishes; Night Ripper penetrated the public shield like Jason Biggs penetrates pies.

Then someone like DJ Gregg Gillis (aka. Girl Talk, obviously) comes along and tears the absolute shit out of the genre, instead of using two songs (ala Grey Album) he takes handfuls of songs and rips them into little bits and throws them up against the proverbial wall to see what sticks. And for the most part, what sticks, is akin to some sort of magic. Before reading the rest of this review, please understand that I am in no way, shape, or form a dance music fan. In fact, I think that any song that makes me want to “bop 2 da beat” should be outlawed, if only to save the public from my “dance” moves.

The weird thing about Girl Talk is that even though he uses over a hundred songs on the album (most only for a few seconds) he puts them all together like he sees songs as puzzles and just puts together pieces of songs to create a whole new, beautiful picture. The true genius of Night Ripper is the coupling of rap with rock songs, which, by itself is nothing new, but when you hear, Ludacris, The Verve, Kelis, Oasis, Eminem, and whoever the fuck else there is, on one song. You know some shit is going down. Jesus, there is even a Neutral Milk Hotel clip, respect

By utilizing what I’m sure are none other than the darkest magics available to a mere mortal, Greg Gillis has created something spastic and delightful, but what draws a musical trivia buff (not really) to this album is seeing whether or not you can discern all the bits and pieces of songs within songs, some so short that you need to actually concentrate on the music.. A song with this many samples is obviously illegal, and while listening to it, I feel like an outlaw, so much so that if a sheriff were to kick the door to my saloon open, I would pop him with my six shooter, no questions.

The only downfall of this album is that at some points it’s too sporadic and that while concentrating on it, your brain may start to bleed from the inside. Other than that, I would say that Girl Talk isn’t timeless enough; in fact, I believe the album comes with the expiry date stamped on the front in an unrecognizable script so you have to smell test it before you listen to it. I would also advise that you bring Night Ripper to all your house parties, because it is nothing if not sexily danceable (well, maybe not on my part, but you know.)

Girl Talk - Night Ripper

Bright Eyes- Napoleons Hat -Track Review

Bright Eyes

Napoleons Hat

Score: 3.9/5

For the most part, album reviews are a daunting task; I have to sit here in my darkened pulpit, listening to a record over and over and over. So I switched it up and reviewed an EP, but it turned out to be only 150 words shorter than a full album review! Shit! So I decided to start doing single track reviews, but only for tracks that I feel really strongly about or tracks that I think you, the public, should be exposed to.

“Napoleon's Hat” was done for Lagniappe: A Saddle Creek Benefit for Hurricane Katrina Relief. It starts off with a really low key opening, the strum of an acoustic guitar that fans of Bright Eyes have no doubt gotten used to, the sharpening of a knife (or something) and a really flat drum beat. And it works to the songs benefit, considering that what really makes this track standout among all other great Bright Eyes tracks is the emotion in the lyrics. Mozart’s parents put cigarettes out in his ears/when he got old enough to stutter he said/I don’t listen but I-I-I can hear. Truly one of the greater lyricists of our time, Oberst weaves through the song with ease, his voice quivering rarely, while he describes the death of Dr. Oppenheimer and the style of Napoleon Bonaparte and how we can’t forget all the people that were killed/left homeless in Hurricane Katrina just because our lives are still okay.

The lyrics exude emotion, and they draw the emotion out of us, but Oberst doesn’t appear to have any emotional link to this song, his signature quiver is gone, which is (arguably) a good thing. But still, come on, it’s the fucking quiver! He sounds like he has more of an emotional connection to “A Lover I Don’t Have To Love” which is about a one night stand.

This track is super rare (I think) that’s probably because it was off a charity album, I don’t think anyone buys charity albums because they are chock full of horrible duets by popular pop stars. But I would say that this is one of the exceptions. I didn’t buy it though. So every time I listen to it, I feel a little bit guiltier than I would like to.

All in all, it feels like this is Oberst saying “George Bush doesn’t care about poor people.” And he’s probably right. But without Mike Meyers beside you, looking like he just got hit in the special place, your message is less potent.

Bright Eyes- Napoleon's Hat

Beirut - Lon Gisland EP Review

Beirut

Lon Gisland EP

Score: 8.1

It was not so long ago that Gulag Orkestar was released, and while it still floats under the radar for the most part, those who have discovered it praise it like a worshiper would…well, worship a “God”. The “God” in question is Zach Condon, a 20 year old musical wunderkind, and while almost every song on Gulag Orkestar was dazzling yet, at the same time heartbreaking, Lon Gisland offers something more (if that were possible).

Lon Gisland sounds exotic, but as you might have deduced using the power of deduction, it’s just Long Island with the G on a different part of the word. This is a neat trick, in that I can use it all the time to make myself sound smarter than I really am, for instance, when ordering drinks at my local watering hole, I saunter up to the table, dressed as dapper as humanly possible, and tell my bar wench that I would like a Lon Gisland Icedt Ea, or perhaps an Applet Ini, if I’m feeling particularly daring.

Lon Gisland opens with the old timey twang of a ukulele that Condon made great use of on Gulag Orkestar, then he jumps in with his ever eloquent vocals, and what’s great about this song is that as it progresses, you can hear new instruments being introduced after almost every verse. If you were a fan of Gulag Orkestar, you will probably enjoy this, but if you noticed that Condon’s voice in Gulag Orkestar was kind of a background instrument, you will now notice that Condon’s voice is brought to the front, or at least close to it. “Elephant Gun” really sets the tone for the record, Condon is more coherent with his lyrics, but still manages to make you not wonder (or care) what he is saying. There are still points where I doubt he is even saying words, but the reason he can get away with it is because his voice flows like an instrument, it doesn’t go over top of the music, and it’s not him singing while the band plays in the background, his voice goes right in the middle. (I was going to use a river/fish analogy, but it would have been too hard to articulate.)

“My Family’s Role in The World Revolution” Is not only a superb name for a track; it also features an all out barrage of piano, drums, and some big brass. The drumming in this song is so powerful that even though it’s under layers of other instruments, you can still hear it pounding its way through like a hundred drummers hitting the same notes in unison. The song alone is good, but what makes it great is the little mess up at the start where you can hear the band laughing and just having fun with it, same goes for the end of the song. I don’t know about you, but I crave this shit, the little things that give you some insight into the bands chemistry. Delicious.

The last GREAT track on Lon Gisland is “Scenic World (Lon Gisland Version)” This version is longer and instead of having the drum machine intro of “Scenic World” from Gulag Orkestar, it has a violin and accordion (or some shit) with a flat drum beat in the back and Condon’s voice brought to the forefront, after the first verse, the drummery turns from flat into some fucking bongo shit, it sounds like Donkey Kong is playing them. The other big difference/improvement is that the chorus is much more powerful and captivating when Condon sings them with backup. It is also 45 seconds longer, which gives Condon time to unfurl the vocals without rushing it, like he did on the Gulag Orkestar version.

The last two songs on Lon Gisland don’t stand out, especially when the first three songs are as scrumptious as they happen to be. “The Long Island Sound” is just some more instrumentals that have become the norm for Beirut, and don’t get me wrong, this isn’t bad, it’s just I could listen to a better song and get the same thing from it. For example: I could listen to “The Long Island Sound” or I could listen to “Prenzaluerberg”. They are different songs, with the same instruments,(minus the annoying ambience) but “Prenzlauerberg” is just more robust. The same theory applies to “Carousels”, while it isn’t as sparse as “The Long Island Sound”; it just isn’t as good as anything else.

While only clocking in at 16 minutes, it’s hard to get lost in it like you could with Orkestar, but considering its bigger sound and more appealing vocals, I’d say it’s a fair trade.

Condon is a genius, that much is certain, but with his voice getting stronger and his new found ability to use lyrics to his advantage. I would say Deity status isn’t too far off in the distance.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K5JS2S67